Hope – When a family finds our community for the first time, their child’s behaviour may have become so difficult and dangerous that things at home can be very unpredictable and frightening. Things may seem very bleak indeed, and parents often can’t bear to look ahead into the future because the thought of their child becoming an adult with these sorts of behaviours is just too distressing. We try to give them hope. We know, through the work we’ve done with thousands of other families in the same very difficult situation, that things really can and do get better for families once they know that we believe in them and their children, and when we can help and support them to parent in the way their child needs instead of the way that society expects us to parent.
Belief – We believe that there are happier, calmer, and much more hopeful times ahead for every child and every family. We believe in parents when everyone else is blaming and judging them for their child’s behaviour. We believe in every child when society has all but given up on them. This is a group of children who are often excluded from school, or involved with the police, and generally vilified by everyone they come into contact with. We believe in them when very few other people do.
Understanding – We “get it”. Everyone involved with Newbold Hope has been there too with their own children. We know how tough it is and how it affects everyone in the family – the child themselves, their brothers and sisters, their mum and dad and all their wider family and friends as well. We have experienced the isolation, the judgment, the blame and the lack of understanding that is part and parcel of being in this situation. We have experienced the long-term effects of continual difficult and dangerous behaviour on the whole family. Together our community can offer support, solidarity, compassion, understanding and a sense of belonging where everyone works together to support and care for each other, sharing practical ideas and suggestions that can only come from the real family life of people with lived experience.
Curiosity – This is one of our favourite words! When you stay curious, and you keep asking the “WHY?” questions about a child’s behaviour, it’s almost impossible to close your heart or to make up your mind. If you stop being curios, it means that you’re very likely to become judgemental and add to the damage that is done to the mental health and emotional well-being of everyone who is a part of our community, adults and children alike.
Kindness – Kindness is so powerful, it can help people to begin to recover and heal from the negativity, judgment and blame that they may have had directed at them by their own circle of family and friends, from neighbours or passers-by when out and about, and by professional staff from schools, healthcare and social services. Kindness can change lives for the better and we strive to extend it ourselves, we have high expectations of it in our community, and we strongly suggest that it can also work wonders towards a child who may seem unlovable at times due to their extreme behaviours.
Authenticity – Everything we do is because we have been there ourselves and we know how it feels. We want to ensure that other families don’t have to wait in terror and isolation for years for help and support that never comes. Children and families are at the absolute heart of everything we do.